Nearly Beloved by Shari Hearn

Author:Shari Hearn
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: humorous mystery, senior sleuths, southern, small town, humorous dark comedy, American humorous fiction
Publisher: J&R Fan Fiction
Published: 2018-08-17T16:00:00+00:00

WHILE GERTIE STAYED behind in Sinful making wedding preparations with Cliff, Ida Belle and I spent the next day paying visits to some of Cliff’s victims in Westlake and Mudbug, informing them of our plans. So far, we had convinced five victims to attend the wedding and confront Cliff.

“Who’s next?” I asked after we returned to my Jeep.

She looked down at her list. “Bernadette.”

They were all sad cases, but Bernadette was the saddest.

“I hope we can convince her to speak out.”

Ida Belle’s phone rang. She looked down at the display. “It’s Gertie. I’ll put her on speakerphone.” She tapped her phone and answered the call.

Ida Belle barely uttered “hello” when Gertie’s voice screeched, “If Cliff sticks his tongue in my ear one more time, I swear as God is my witness, I am going to cut it out with my butter knife.”

“Where are you?”

“We’re at Francine’s doing a cake tasting. He’s using the men’s room right now.”

“You have to refrain from cutting out his tongue,” Ida Belle said, leaning into her cellphone. “He’ll need it to beg for forgiveness when we haul his sorry butt to jail.”

“Hey darlin’, did you miss me?” I heard Cliff’s voice faintly.

“That was quick,” Gertie said to him.

“Is that Cliff?”

“Uh huh.”

“Remember, Gertie, you’re in love with him,” I said. “Don’t let on that you’d like to kill him.”

I heard what sounded like a sucking noise. Then, “Now, Cliffy, sweetie, you know I said no lip-to-lip contact before we’re married.” Her voice sounded cheery but strained. “I’m an old-fashioned, Baptist gal.” Another sound, this one on the slurping side. “Gah! Are you licking my ear?”

“Sorry, you sexy mama, but you get me so excited.”

“Cliff, I’m on the phone with Ida Belle.”

“I don’t care. I want the whole world to know what you do to me.” He must have grabbed the phone, because now his voice was clear. “Hello, Ida Belle,” he said into the phone. “I want you to know I love this woman.”

“Cliff!” Gertie was back on. “Hurry home,” she said, a pleading tone in her voice.

Ida Belle ended the call and put the phone back in her purse. “I hope Gertie can hang on until the wedding. I don’t know about you, but I’ll be needing a vacation after this mission. Maybe after Cliff is put away we can head on over to that beach house Marie owns in Tahiti.”

“Hmm.” Like that was going to happen for me. We may be getting rid of one predator, but I still had a hitman breathing down my neck. Sticking around close to home seemed like the safest bet.

Ida Belle touched my shoulder. “We’ll put one helluva disguise on you. That Ahmad won’t get anywhere near you, and if he does, I have a bullet reserved just for him.”

I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined putting my life in the hands of two women in their seventies, but I couldn’t think of any better protection than them.

We drove over to Bernadette’s and stood at her door.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.